A
few times over the weekend I had moments where I found myself sad. I had moments
where I would see a pregnant woman and think to myself that I should be pregnant. Even trying to put on a pair of
jeans that I haven't worn since before my miscarriage triggered these thoughts and it didn't seem fair.
As
I was leaving the grocery store Sunday, I hopped on Facebook (while I
waited for another car to back out) and saw that a girl from my hometown
is expecting. She had the cutest pregnancy announcement posted and the next thing I knew, I was bawling. I just lost it. Just when I thought I had my emotions in check since my miscarriage, all those feelings of being okay were gone.
I would be 13 weeks pregnant today. I would be getting ready to share our big surprise with our friends and family that we hadn't yet told and now, we don't get to share that news.
It just wasn't fair.
I felt so alone in that moment. Even though I have been surrounded with support and love from my husband, my family and my friends, the heartbreak I've had feels lonely.
About
the time I got ready to put the car in reverse and leave, Thy Will Be Done by Hillary Scott came on the radio. It wasn't the first time I had heard it over the weekend
and I was amazed at the timing. I got the messaged loud and clear that time.
These words spoke to me at a time I needed them most and in that moment I knew I was not alone. I am never alone. I felt His presence, I let myself grieve and I prayed.
God has plans for my life, some that I may never understand, but He is good and he knows what he is doing. I have to trust in those plans. I have to trust that I won't always feel this way and the pain I feel now will eventually subside.
If you are struggling with a miscarriage, ongoing infertility or are just in a place where you feel alone; I know it's hard, but know that you are not alone.
You are never alone.
These verses have been on my heart and I wanted to share. I hope they help you as much as they have helped me over the last month.
Joshua 1:9 I command you - Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.
Proverbs 3: 5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will direct your paths.
These verses have been on my heart and I wanted to share. I hope they help you as much as they have helped me over the last month.
Joshua 1:9 I command you - Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.
Proverbs 3: 5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will direct your paths.
And your message is perfect timing ❤
ReplyDeleteI too find myself in a dark place and struggle with what God has ordained. I don't like it one bit but His will is perfect and we have to roll with the punches. Even when the hurt like an uppercut.
I'm so sorry. That's such a hard thing to go through. This is a great sentiment, thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your experience, your feelings, your love for God. I kid you not, yesterday morning my devotions were this exact verse "Joshua 1:9 I command you - Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." I wrote a similar post, directed to the beautiful women that surround us, that are struggling in silence with depression, anxiety, suicide & panic attacks. I strongly believe we need to speak & share more and shine HIS light into these horrible issues that so many are facing. We need to stand together.
ReplyDeleteI love this song and it has really spoken to my heart especially knowing what is was born out of. Life is so precious and it's hard not having our precious babies here. The grief ebbs and flows and I hope you never feel bad for feeling this loss.
ReplyDeleteGod's timing is so good. That song is truly beautiful because even though it sucks, ultimately God knows our pain. I'm so sorry you're going through this.
ReplyDeleteSuch a hard thing to endure! Thank you for opening your heart and sharing this!
ReplyDeleteThis is such a heartfelt message,and it's a good reminder for all of us.
ReplyDeleteAly, you are so brave for sharing the hard days too. Always praying for you all.
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