You Are Not Alone

You Are Not Alone

Tuesday, August 22, 2017

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A few times over the weekend I had moments where I found myself sad. I had moments where I would see a pregnant woman and think to myself that I should be pregnant.  Even trying to put on a pair of jeans that I haven't worn since before my miscarriage triggered these thoughts and it didn't seem fair. 

As I was leaving the grocery store Sunday, I hopped on Facebook (while I waited for another car to back out) and saw that a girl from my hometown is expecting.  She had the cutest pregnancy announcement posted and the next thing I knew, I was bawling.  I just lost it.  Just when I thought I had my emotions in check since my miscarriage, all those feelings of being okay were gone. 

I would be 13 weeks pregnant today.  I would be getting ready to share our big surprise with our friends and family that we hadn't yet told and now, we don't get to share that news.

It just wasn't fair.  

I felt so alone in that moment.  Even though I have been surrounded with support and love from my husband, my family and my friends, the heartbreak I've had feels lonely.

About the time I got ready to put the car in reverse and leave, Thy Will Be Done by Hillary Scott came on the radio. It wasn't the first time I had heard it over the weekend and I was amazed at the timing.  I got the messaged loud and clear that time.

These words spoke to me at a time I needed them most and in that moment I knew I was not alone.  I am never alone.  I felt His presence, I let myself grieve and I prayed.

God has plans for my life, some that I may never understand, but He is good and he knows what he is doing.  I have to trust in those plans.  I have to trust that I won't always feel this way and the pain I feel now will eventually subside. 

If you are struggling with a miscarriage, ongoing infertility or are just in a place where you feel alone; I know it's hard, but know that you are not alone. 

You are never alone.

These verses have been on my heart and I wanted to share.  I hope they help you as much as they have helped me over the last month.
  
Joshua 1:9 I command you - Be strong and courageous.  Do not be afraid or discouraged.  For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.

Proverbs 3: 5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding.  Seek his will in all you do, and he will direct your paths.

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