postpartum
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I thought I was dying | Postpartum Preeclampsia (Part 1)

Wednesday, March 20, 2019

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It's no surprise that being pregnant with one child can be difficult, but throw another baby in there and it's a completely different ballgame.  For me, being pregnant with twins was actually not as challenging as I thought it would.  It was a fairly "easy" and uneventful twin pregnancy and up until the last month, no complications.  I did have a little scare very early on where I thought we were having another miscarriage, but turned out it was just twins!



The last month of my pregnancy was nothing out of the norm.  I had the usual swelling and some weight gain.  We had a lot going on with not only two kids to take care of but a huge move from Florida to Indiana at 30 weeks pregnant.  I didn't feel stressed, but I'm sure I was a little not to mention very exhausted.  


The Tuesday before I was induced, I was having a pain in my right leg I couldn't get rid of.  I went to my doctor, who checked me out and everything seemed fine.  My blood pressure was perfect and had been my entire pregnancy.  My swelling was nothing to be concerned about either.  He sent me over to the hospital to be on the safe side and to be checked out for a blood clot.  Again, everything seemed fine.  My doctor scheduled my induction for Friday morning because he would be heading out of town for the weekend and I wanted to make sure it was him who delivered.  He also let me know that he would be on call the next two days if I needed him and that he wouldn't send me home if I ended up in triage.

I was having mild contractions, but decided I was fine to wait until Friday.  I have yet to write about my birth story and I promise that is coming.  Four kids under four years of age has been a lot, so my blog has taken a back seat over the last 6 months.

Without going into too much detail, my blood pressure was high when I arrived at the hospital.  The nurse asked me if I was nervous and I assured her that I wasn't.  I was definitely anxious because we had been waiting a few hours to get checked in, but not nervous and 

I felt fine.

My delivery went crazy fast.  They started me on Pitocin and within one hour, I was being rushed to the OR to deliver Molly first.  Being sent to the OR is standard routine for multiples.  My epidural hadn't even set in and here she was, being pushed out in two short pushes.

Kathryn came via c-section due to some complications that I will share at another time.  Other than being terrified of the surgery, after giving birth to the twins, 

I felt fine. 

I found out my blood pressure dropped pretty low during delivery, but came back up without any problems.  After being sent to recovery and getting to love on our girls, I found out that my blood pressure was back up again.  I was having some more swelling in my legs, but felt fine for just giving birth two different ways in two hours.

At one point, it got pretty high and they decided to give me some blood pressure meds to help bring it down.

It didn't work but I felt fine.  No headaches, no blurred vision, nothing.

Maybe it was the adrenaline.  Maybe it was the exhaustion.  Maybe it was the overwhelming amount of emotions I was going through, but there was nothing that screamed "you're getting close to dying" to me.

It turns out that I was not ok and after the blood pressure meds weren't working, I was immediately sent to the high risk unit to be monitored and be put on magnesium.

I found out that I was having Preeclampsia AFTER delivery and some of the scariest moments of my life were to follow.

Part 2 coming soon.
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Loving Your Postpartum Body

Thursday, September 29, 2016

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After having my first daughter, it didn't take long to accept the fact that I was not one of those women who just bounces back after pregnancy.  I have never been a size 2 to begin with and I had to work really hard to get back into shape.  Once I began to really lose the baby weight and feel good about myself, I found out I was pregnant with my second daughter!  As exciting as this was, I knew my body was going to start changing again.  Gosh, did it change this time!  If you look at these images, I have loose belly skin, I have curves and my boobs definitely aren't perky anymore.  I also developed a hernia with my second that left me with a "weird" belly button!


Speaking of "not so perky boobs", when I look at this photo below, I seriously get all the emotions!  I feel like it describes all that I am as a breastfeeding mother.  I breastfed my first daughter until she was 14 months old and I continue to breastfeed my youngest at 10 months old.  My breasts aren't nearly as perky as they used to be and I'm ok with that.  I was able to give my girls something that absolutely no other person can.  I nourished them and bonded with them and I will forever be grateful that my body allowed me to do this.  I feel that the look on my face shows my struggles as a mother, yet I feel the most beautiful in this photo. 


I've never gone a day without knowing that my husband thinks I am beautiful and that he loves my postpartum body.  He does a wonderful job of making sure I know that.  It's just not the same as YOU knowing that you're beautiful.


I came across Jolise Photography, when I was browsing through a local mommy business post on Facebook.  I thought, wow, boudoir photography, that looks fun!  My first instinct was that this would be a great birthday present for my husband.  His birthday was coming up and he is one of those guys who has just about everything and anything he doesn't have, he typically gets it for himself.  I knew that this would be an awesome surprise for him!  What I didn't know, is that this would actually end up being something for ME and all about ME and my journey through accepting and coming to love my postpartum body....3 years and 2 kids later.

I reached out to Sara, the owner and artist behind Jolise Photography, to see if she would want to work together on this project.  I was so excited when she said yes and we immediately planned a day to meet for coffee and discuss the details.  This is something that she does with all of her clients to make sure there is a connection.  This type of photoshoot can be intimidating (way out of my comfort zone) and I like that I got to meet her.  Sara is wonderful!




My experience from the very beginning was great.  We met for coffee at a local coffee shop called Black Crow Coffee shop in Saint Petersburg.  I highly recommend this place if you are in the area!  It was the perfect, little spot for us to discuss the details of this shoot!  I was so nervous and excited about meeting.  It was like a first date!  Sara made me feel at ease from the moment we began talking. 

She showed me photos of recent shoots she had done and I had a rush of emotions hit me all at once.  The women she showed me were all different shapes and sizes and each had different stories.  Want to know what they had in common?  They were all absolutely BEAUTIFUL!


This meeting with Sara really got me to thinking about how I viewed my postpartum body and how I wanted my photos to look and feel.  Most women understand that becoming a mother will change you.  It is such an incredible, selfless act.  What some don't realize and I'm guilty of this, is how it changes your body. 

How can someone prepare themselves for a 'new' body that you have little control over? 

I mean, I knew that stretch marks are typically genetic and I was prepared to get them, but nobody wants them.  I see women who post that they "earned their stripes" and although it's very encouraging and I support their positive body image, it still wasn't easy to accept.  Let be real, nobody gets pregnant and says, "bring on the stretch marks, hemorrhoids and mood swings."  I didn't get stretch marks until I was 8 1/2 months pregnant with my first daughter and it was hard to believe that I got them right before I was to have her.  Even though I thought I had prepared myself for it, I was honestly disappointed



It hasn't been easy, but since then I've learned to embrace the body that I currently have.  I don't obsess over not fitting into my pre-baby clothes.  Does that mean that I don't try?  Of course I try, but I don't get upset if it doesn't happen.  What's important is that I'm healthy and that I love my body.  As a mom of two girls, it's important that I teach them what that means.


Just know that no matter what your body looks like after having children, you are absolutely beautiful!  You are a rockstar...a gorgeous MOTHER...a STRONG woman who brought life into this world.  Own your body, your curves, loose skin or whatever else has made you a mommy.  I get it, we all have insecurities and it's definitely easier said than done, but just know that you are not alone in this journey! 


More about my boudoir photo-shoot experience:

Sara and I, set a date for my photo-shoot during our coffee "date".  We also booked Krista Ritchie, who would be my hair and makeup artist for the day, and an absolutely amazing one too!  I was greeted with champagne and the day was all about me!  I had my hair and makeup done, listened to good music and then started our photo-shoot with little breaks to change out outfits and sip on champagne.  It was one of the best experiences of my life and I can't wait to do it again.  I walked in a nervous wreck about having to put on 'lingerie'.  Sara gives you the option of picking out your own outfits, but also has cute items in her studio to choose from.  By the end of it all, I was having so much fun that I didn't even realize that my loose belly skin was hanging out!  I was so comfortable and I felt so good about this body of mine.  I felt pretty, ok, I felt HOT!  You can watch a video of my day by clicking here.



Probably the most exciting part of this experience was having my reveal session with Sara!  She sets up a time and day a few weeks after your photo-shoot for you to come in and see your photos.  This is unlike anything I've ever done!  I walked in to her studio and was once again greeted with champagne.  I'm starting to think I should just go visit her studio more often! Ha! 

I was so surprised to walk into all of my pictures hanging on the wall!  I was so overwhelmed with how they looked that I was finding it hard not to cry. 
This was me.  All of me.  Tastefully exposed.  I've had two precious girls in these photos.  I've had good days and bad days.  I've loved my body and hated my body.  This is also my last year in my 20s.  I will forever have these as a reminder that I am beautiful in my own skin.

*Giveaway CLOSED*  Congratulations to Alicia R.!

Want to win a boudoir session of your own with Jolise Photography?!  I've teamed up with Sara to giveaway a double makeover and Photoshoot (for you and a friend), plus $100 each to use towards product purchases. (total value $900)  Located in the Tampa Bay area.

To enter:
Follow Jolise Photography on Facebook
Follow Krista Ritchie Hair and Makeup on Facebook
Follow The Littlest Funk  blog on Facebook
Comment and share Jolise Photography's blog post (and to see more photos from our shoot)
For extra entries:
Follow Jolise Photography on Instagram
Follow Krista Ritchie on Instagram
Follow The Littlest Funk blog on Instagram
Comment and Share this blog post!
Subscribe to The Littlest Funk blog

This post is sponsored by Jolise Photography.  The opinions expressed are my own.
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