An Open Letter to my Toddler | Part 1

Dear Emma (the toddler I'm referring about),

Please quit sitting on your sister.  She is not a chair and she can't breathe.  As much as you would like to think this is quality play time with your little sister; it isn't, so please stop.

On that note, please quit trying to feed your sister.  It's very nice of you, but she can't always have what you're having and probably doesn't appreciate you trying to shove 6 pretzel sticks in her mouth at once.

As cute as it is when you say "ease" (please), you cannot have "andy" (candy) for breakfast.  Even if you ask 55 million times in a row, wait a few minutes and then ask again.  The answer is still no.

My sweet, dear child, for the love, please put on clothes.  We cannot leave the house unless you wear them and if you don't want your mother (me) to lose her mind, we HAVE to occasionally leave the house.  Also, the USPS and UPS workers don't appreciate me slamming the door in their faces when you bolt towards the door naked.   

You, are not a dog.  Please quit chewing on the furniture...and with that being said, quit licking the furniture...and the windows...and your sister.

I know you were breastfed, but you haven't nursed in almost a year; quit trying to grab my boobs (and sometimes nipple) every time I nurse your sister.  Also, quit trying to shove my boob in her mouth.  I know you're just trying to help, but it's kind of weird and I think you're creeping your father out.

It would be really nice of you to quit deciding you want to play with every loud toy you own and run up and down the hallway as soon I put your sister down for a nap.  I'm sure she would appreciate you not doing that as well.

My fearless child, I love that nothing scares you and that you love to be independent, but climbing and jumping off of everthing (including the pool) and trying to do front flips is not my idea of fun.  You're going to give me a heart attack and I'm pretty sure you're the one giving your daddy gray hair, not me. 

I know that you are super excited about being potty trained now, but there is no need to scream like a teenage girl at a Taylor Swift concert every single time you poop (which happens to conveniently be while your little sister is napping).  Also, try not to get excited until after you finish peeing in the potty.  Getting excited midway through is getting pee all over the floor.

 Lastly, you really are such a joy and as crazy as most of our days seem to go, I wouldn't change the personality you have been given for anything in the world.  You doing these ridiculous and funny things are what make you who you are and I can't wait to see what else you throw at us.  I never imagined your daddy-0 and I would be in for such an adventure with you!  We love you silly girl!

(For the last month, we are mommy-o, daddy-o and Charle-o)  Haha!